


The Very Hungry Cacodemon

by ArcticBanana



Category: Doom (Video Games)
Genre: Yes this is related to the book on Doomguy's shelf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23415604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticBanana/pseuds/ArcticBanana
Summary: One hot day in Hell, a little egg hatched and out came a tiny cacodemon. He was very hungry.(If you can't tell, this is an obvious parody of one of my favorite children's books.)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	The Very Hungry Cacodemon

**Author's Note:**

> You can tell by the fact that I rewrote a children’s book based on a funny Easter egg I found in Doom Eternal that I’m at the point in my coronavirus isolation where I’m about to go crazy and start a weird religious cult in the desert.

In the light of the full blood moon, a little egg lay on a pile of brimstone.

One Sunday morning, the banks of Hell heated up and then _pop!_ Out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry cacodemon. He started to look for some food.

On Monday, he ate through one human head. But he was still hungry.

On Tuesday, he ate through two corpses on pikes. But he was still hungry.

On Wednesday, he ate through three dead pinkies. But he was still hungry.

On Thursday, he ate through the decomposing remains of four sabbatic goats. But he was still hungry.

On Friday, he ate through five fleshy masses growing on the floors of Hell. But he was still hungry.

On Saturday, he ate through one discarded arm, one screaming zombie, one imp, one slice of jellied human liver, one bowl of human eyeballs, and one lollipop. One pile of mancubus intestines, one sacrificed chicken, one entire congregation of cultists, and the organic half of a dead tyrant. That night he had a stomachache.

The next day was Sunday again. The cacodemon ate through one nice green pile of slimy meat and after that he felt much better. Now he wasn’t hungry anymore and he wasn’t a little cacodemon anymore. He was a big, fat cacodemon.

He built a small house called a gore nest around himself. He stayed inside for more than two weeks. Then he nibbled a hole in the wall, pushed his way out, and…

...exploded into a pile of gore as the Doom Slayer promptly blood punched him in the face.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I spent way more time than I possibly should have debating with myself whether or not cacodemons actually hatch from eggs. Please send help, I'm so bored right now.


End file.
